SELF SERVICE SEX......got your' attention now, don't I?

Yes, this is the article that started it all. I wrote it for a men's magazine so that is the audience it addresses but don't let that stop you from perusing it.
I was notified by the magazine that they were yanking (sorry for the pun) all online access to it and I have since changed operating systems so I needed to preserve it.  This is where it shall live.
I have several guy-pals to thank for bringing this article to fruition.  Hat's off to ya, fellas!

"CAN SELF-SERVICE SEX BE A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY?”

By Lucinda Blithe

Masturbation is universally practiced….90% of the male species has done it, or are currently doing it.  The other 10% are just telling a lie about not doing it at all. Shame on them!

Growing up, male buddies have their late night campfire-talks. It is a rite of passage to be in the secret ‘head nod’ club that consists of a class of non-verbal, self-discovering 5^th graders.  Sadly, masturbation rarely makes good conversation at the family dinner table when it should be discussed openly and accepted.  Stigmas and unfavorable opinions could be silenced and dealt with before dessert hit the table. Think of how many years of therapy could be avoided!

Self pleasure is often perceived to be a weakness.  In private conversations with some of my closest male pals on this subject, some think it is a nasty and horrible habit. Strong Christian family values instill a negative taboo influence on something that is so basic, beautiful and natural.  If you admit to masturbating, you are perceived to be perverted or immoral. 

I am here to tell you loudly: IT IS NOT AND YOU ARE NOT!!!!!!!!!

My BFF would never let me tell you this but how dare I try to keep it away from you?  Masturbation is a self-medicating and virtuously satisfying experience.   It can even provide spiritual awareness.  You cannot love anyone until you learn to love yourself. To delight yourself is a form of release/replenish for your mind and your body.  You have an inner, invisible agenda just waiting to be set off.  All that explosive energy in one place, just before an orgasm, is a very powerful thing.

Spiritually, your entire existence is being focused like a laser beam on getting the job done.  Take yourself in hand, so to speak, do the deed and then you can move on to your other business of the day.

Perhaps you could consider masturbation to be your ‘out with the old, in with the new’ self-service policy?  

Medically, masturbation could possibly save your life. Several conflicting urological clinical study discussions suggest that masturbating later in your life can help drain the prostate gland by getting rid of accumulated toxins within your body by ejaculation, thereby reducing the risk of developing prostate cancer.  Masturbation helps work your prostate gland during a time when you don’t feel the need, or are unable to do so via intercourse.  While that news is not exactly the opposite of bad, it falls in the gray abyss.  This theory has not been firmly established, and further research is necessary. You and I both know you have purchased a lottery ticket with fewer odds.  We are discussing prostate cancer, so to be on the safe side, perhaps you should masturbate.

Even though tinkering with tradition is a no-no; battery operated or hand driven toys and ‘machine oil’ help enhance the experience.  Don’t be selfish with the fun if you don’t have to be.  Mutual masturbation with your partner can be a mind-blowing, sexual experience.  Women learn how to play with ease creating a very gratifying experience for the male.  Many women are even willing to show you HOW to pleasure them and how to do it WITH them.  Before you fully disclose to your mate your deepest thoughts on your ‘secret handshake’ though, consider the situation you are in. Will revealing this cause problems of insecurity? Will admitting you masturbate create distrust because you were not upfront sooner?  Can you approach it from a broader angle and see what the response is initially?  If you feel it is better left unsaid, then you have my full permission to do so.  It will be our little secret. Okay? *Wink, wink*.

Masturbation is a very private thing and playing with a partner for the first time may make you think twice about attempting it.  Be brave. To open up, try using a blindfold.  This works great in helping you to concentrate on the task at hand and gets you into your comfort zone. 

In taking turns, it is usually best for ladies to go first.  Women have the home field advantage in this department because most are able to climax multiple times compared to your one main Grand Stand.  The spiritual sexual energy that is built up between the two of you can be shared even if you aren’t physically touching each other.  You can both even go at the same time or progress to the ‘hands on each other’ approach-touching or enabling each other to climax greater.  Take advantage of the extra helping hands.  You can even come in at the end and help out with the big finish.  As you advance and become more comfortable, sexual fantasies and sex toys can spice things up even more. 

Allow yourself to express your desires.  Don’t plan what your next move will be.  Spontaneity can be one of your best allies so do not rush through it. Connect with your partner on every level and you will have the most fun.  Lightly touching and teasing can help build up to a steady stimulation.  Experiment and pay attention to your partner’s reactions.  Deeper breathing, moaning and increased body tension can be your guide that you are doing something very right. 

Lefty loose-y/Righty tight-y? Adjust your grip and use your hand in a different way than your “usual”.  Use the heel of your hand to feel the shaft of your penis, or try making a cup with your palm over the head to offer some resistance as you maneuver your hand down the axis.  Work your middle finger and thumb into a ring around your girth.  Feel those ridges? Those are the backbone of pure satisfaction.  Be sure to use lots of lubrication to avoid chafing. Wetter is usually better.  Oil-based lubricants are great to use in hand-job-only play because they don’t dry out as quickly.  Use water or silicone-based lubricants if using a condom or toys to play with later. 

While standard strokes are great, try different kinds.  Try a gentle twisting, tug motion while moving your hand or your playmate’s hand up and down.   You can alternate between short strokes at the base of the penis along with short strokes at the tip of the head. 

Try a gentle squeeze.  Adjust the pressure of your grip.  Thrust your hips or try using your other hand. It may seem a little odd at first and you can always go back to your old standby routine.  Another idea is to try the 2-handed method: Put one hand at the base of your penis and press towards your pelvic bone all while exploring with different hand strokes along the shaft.  There is no one correct way to do it.  Try taking advantage of the perineum.  It is a band of nerves that flow between the testicles and the anus.  Have your companion massage, pump or stroke this area with just their fingertip to see if you give a positive reaction.  If the signals say “keep it coming”….amp it up and have them press their knuckle in to stimulate the prostate. 

Even if you have your’ old faithful routine, you may be missing something more.  Teach your old dog a new trick he isn’t likely to forget.

Girls have always been at the forefront of the sexual revolution.  Sisters have been squelched from talking about masturbation but they openly have parties that promote exploring and experimenting with various techniques.  They purchase sex hardware under the guise of a home party or shop at tastefully decorated, well-lit stores. 

What do men have? Dark rooms, pole dancers and porn. 

Guys are voracious, visual animals.  Getting arousal-worthy material means sometimes crossing the proverbial line.  Freely expand your horizons but please, satisfy your sexual appetite legally and privately.  The colloquial euphemism ‘en flagrante delicito’ which is Latin for ‘Blazing offense or caught red handed’ is not something you want to hear mentioned aloud in a court of law.  Anything legally labeled as lewd, lascivious or salacious has the serious potential to end unfavorable for you and all involved.  (Please insert your mental image of PeeWee Herman’s Paul Reubens here.) “Ha,ha. Made you look”.

Up until now, you have been given the authorization to unlock your hidden self but (there is ALWAYS a ‘but’) take note:

Too much of a good thing is when masturbation becomes your entire sex life.  Self-pleasure is not a substitute for real, human interaction.   If you would rather perform solo than have sex with a partner, strive to keep a healthy balance.  Remember to see your favorite urologist immediately if you are or begin to have problems.  There is a sexual dysfunction condition called ‘retarded/delayed ejaculation”   Go ahead & Google it.  You know you want to.  

It is time to give yourself permission to touch your body in places & ways that nobody but you can understand. This is your right and your privilege. After all, each and every guy does beat to his own drum, even those 10 percent who are clearly liars.