Heart Sleeves

My recent trip to Maryland held so much wonder for me.  I had old/new friends to meet and hug.  Places I had never seen before.  I just wanted it to be perfect.  I rarely get to go anywhere out of the usual circuit that requires looking at a map or packing a lunch...much less figure out how to tip a door man.

When I realized I may lose sight in my right eye, there was a list a mile long of memories left to be made.  Things left to be seen.  Some things I wish I had never seen but you have to take the bad with the good.  Like watching the busboy clean a lady's shoe at the Hard Rock Cafe.  At the table.  With a rag he probably wiped another table down with afterwards.  True story.  Sorry.

My first pang: realizing there was not enough time to do it all....missing Sam Miller's band.  My sincerest apologies, Sam.  We parked the car & it did not move until we left to head home Monday.  If I had known how large Maryland was, I would have planned to stay an extra day.  On the map, it looks drivable.  On the map, Norfolk looks like a cakewalk.  I am easily fooled.


I finally met Bill Woodard. He is a lot nicer than the one I knew here. 

Time slips by so quickly when you are with friends.  Seeing Karen after too many years....she still looks the same.  Karen will always be the same. I like that stability in her.  I hope her mother is tortured daily when she realizes how awful she treated Karen when we were growing up.  I hope her mother ends up in a retirement home where they forget to take her to the bathroom.  Me, bitter? Never. 
 
I had the best crabcake ever. Melanie needs to share the recipe.  Hint hint.


Time....being with people who felt like my oldest & dearest friends....it was like I had landed in a soft and welcoming spot.  Watching Kenny be Kenny.  Bruce & Gregg discussing whatever it was they were discussing.  Watching Dina own the damn room.  If anyone has never seen a woman walk with swag: she has it.  She is a true force of nature.  Being with Kelly is like being the little sister....just a sweet shoulder to lean on.  When we told her it was 12:30 am, she did not believe us. We went off to search for breakfast (on a ship) that turned out to be crab casserole (on a ship).  No pancakes, sorry Bruce.

Time....we missed the last water taxi back to the Inner Harbor so we had to pay to ride in the Taxi of Death.  It was the longest ride of my entire life. After we almost hit the pedestrian, I just closed my eyes and prayed that I would not have to beat the fake African driver to death with my shoe.  I am certain it would have been justified.  

The only thing I knew for certain about the weekend was that I was going to see dolphins.  At the aquarium.  Even if it was the last thing on earth I did, I was going to see a dolphin.  Yes, I have seen them before in the wild.  Lots of times.  But this was different.  These were dolphins that do flips. Yes, I know. I am easy to please.

I am a passive observer in life.  I watch people. I see the world and reflect back through the lens of my camera.  I capture a memory and savor it.  You may not realize how just the simplest glint of dew sparkles and shines.  Flower pictures still smell fragrant when I see them.  Food pictures are a comfort to me.  I remember the laughter and the clinking of glasses being lifted to wish each other health and happiness.  They are but memories preserved, forever.



Warning: This latter part is me venting so if you want to stop reading, now would be a good time.  
On Sunday, we were sitting in a pretty spiffy place, having lunch, rehashing the nights events.  We were laughing and having such a great time.  It was perfect.... until I received the text message.  Just the essence of malice and hatred from it almost broke my heart.  For someone to have HAD that much abusive and narcissistic power in my life was a true eye opener.  I work really hard at everything I do.  I work hard for everyone else.  Needing to justify one small part of my life to anyone will never, ever happen again.  I have family and true friends who care. I have family and true friends who love me and who protect me.  You tried to ruin my one brief trip when I took a selfish moment for myself.  Shame on you.   I know this will fall on deaf ears and eyes.  Yes, I wear my heart on my sleeve.  Perhaps it should just be "Shame on me" for ever having entrusted anything of me to you.