Saying "I love you"

If you knew you were saying "I love you" for the last time, would it taste different?  Would you add more to it or just keep it simple?

My last week has been one of tremendous highs and lows.  I spent Thanksgiving with the people who make my heart sing.  I will forever reflect on my photographs and smile.  It brings such an overwhelming feeling of bliss that I wish I could bottle it and open it up on Christmas Day because I know this feeling is a rarity.  For my one split second, stars aligned and everyone was agreeable.  It was beyond any version of perfect that Martha Stewart could hope to ever glitter or glue gun together.  It was my first major holiday with my first & only grand child.  I cannot tell you what the turkey tasted like or what dishes I prepared.  It is all just a warm, fuzzy blur.  My memories are filled with laughter.  I was giggling and giddy.  My home and heart were full.

I went last Tuesday to visit friends.  I got beautiful hugs.  There are people who make you feel truly welcome and seem genuinely happy to pass time with you.  We usually share Thursday night dinners with such people.  We had so many laughs.  When you meet people who are larger than life and in true love, it makes you happy to be in their company.  I have such friends in this Thursday night group.  I am certain those words that passed between lovers became a simple daily habit.  One particular couple was on a permanent honeymoon.  We lost one of them last night to a stroke.  My heart breaks as I remember his grace and laugh.  He was a wonderful man.  We will miss him and toast his memory.

I save every card, text message, letter and email where someone tells me they love me.  They help validate my existence on Earth. They make my soul feel complete.  When I am at my loneliest and darkest points, those little words carry me back to the light.  They nourish my inner beauty and make me whole.  I invest a lot in those 3 little words.  I am a hopeless romantic.  I am a simple creature.

I am never quick to tell people that I love them.  I have only fallen in love twice in this lifetime.  Those are words that are given a higher regard in my "Book of Life".  I have a great fondness for people.  I have always been very selfish with telling someone I love them.  It isn't a callous line or feeling.  It means so much more to me.  I rarely write it. I sign my cards in a sentimental way because I feel telling someone that I love them sounds silly and almost common.  When I say it, write it or convey it.....it is for always.  It will be the last words that pass from my lips to someone's heart.  They are words that every heart should hear. I hope mine are heard by someone who loves me in return and can remember me as sunshine in their heart.