Sunday, September 23, 2012

Monday, Material Things and Messages

I know for most of the world, Monday is a chore.  It is a 5 mile wait in a blocked traffic lane when you have to pee.

For me, Monday is a blessing. My last 2 weeks were a happy, delirious (sometimes painful) blur. I am not counting postop.

Last Monday, I had to be hospitalized and after some minor drama....finally got help to get things remedied immediately.  It didn't matter who I knew or how much I hurt.  Some doctors are immune to people in pain.  Luckily I knew a man who could help. I was desperate and hurting.  I was out of faith.  I got a phone call that changed my frame of mind.  I got a text message that instilled courage.  I made a phone call that changed my fate.  Sometimes the smallest messages come from inside, from a book or a text message.  Don't second guess your gut feeling. Ever.

How often do we hang on to material things only to find that they do not really exist?
My father jokes that after my mother passes away, everything in it becomes my sister's & my inheritance.  We tell him no, we don't want it.  I deplore rummaging through old things.  I love the treasure hunt but not the smell.  I don't want the flood of memories that come from tangible objects.  Memories have a way of tricking the heart.  They also trick the mind into thinking you need things or have room to store things you will never need again. Sometimes it is bests to just let go.  You have to give yourself permission to grieve lost loved ones and let go.

I recently attended my high school reunion.  It was bliss.  I noticed that the mean girls from high school had become nice and vice versa.  How funny.  I am fortunate that everyone knows me from school because I have not changed much. My old boyfriend even knew me without a name tag.  I wish I had dodged that bullet but it was nice to reconnect with old friends.  Out of everyone in my class, I only had 2 old friends I had not been able to find.  They showed up and we had a blast talking about old times.  I learned lessons that were never taught in school.  People change.  Time, money, and life change you.  It cannot be helped.  Some change for the better but some don't.  There is no meter to gauge which way some people tilt but if you trust your intuition and tread lightly, you can figure it out.  You have to give yourself permission to grieve old friendships and let go.

I wish I could assemble all of my old friends and we could just laugh like we did when we were kids.  I am glad for Facebook. It helps me achieve just that without the hassle of a TSA pat-down.

Get out there and find old friends.  If you have old enemies, leave them a howdy.  You don't have to be their daily victim but clearing your air makes the skies of your life brighter.
Letting go is a healing and beautiful thing.